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Friday, 26 February 2010

Change: the act of passing from one place, form, state or phase to another...

Recently I've been thinking alot about change. I'm going to be leaving university in a couple of months time and I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life. One of the reasons I decided to come to university was so I could find myself, but I still don't know who I am. I had these big plans to become a child psychologist or a play therapist and now I want to work in retail and with consumer behaviour.
I've always struggled with my confidence because I've always been scared that people are judging me on how I look. Over the past 18months I've worked so hard at trying to change that. My university is big on presentations and we have to do at least two a month. As much as I hate them I'm finally starting to feel better about standing up in front of groups of people and I might even be starting to believe that they are actually listening to what I have to say, not judging me on what shoes I'm wearing, or how I've done my hair that day. I've also lost around 2 and 1/2 stone and I'm only about 7 pounds off my ideal healthy weight now. I feel SO much better in myself but I don't always see this change when I look in the mirror and it's unbelievably frustrating! I think because I'm still wearing the same sort of outfits I was 18months ago, I'm still seeing the old me in them when I look in the mirror. I think what I'm trying to get at, is that I think I need a new style, so I can try and leave that old me behind. I'd like to feel comfortable but fashionable at the same time. I do have a few ideas and I have splurged out on a few new pieces. All my friends seem to be growing up around me and I'm fed up of holding myself back so hopefully this will work. I'm planning on putting some pictures up soon and I'd really love to hear what you think :)
I apologise for the randomness of this blog, i just had to put it out there. If you understand where I'm coming from then YAY, if you think I'm just being silly, thats ok too, because I probably am. I do psychology, I know I just need to change my thinking pattens. Anyway, if I'm feeling brave later I might do my first ever outfit post... :)
xxxx

2 comments:

  1. This literally reads like my own thoughts. I am in exactly the same position as you, and I literally have NO idea what I'm going to do come June. I'm terrified of leaving uni, and all my friends seem to have plans apart from me, and its really frightening. I completely understand where you are coming from, and its so refreshing to hear that I'm not the only one! Also I HATE presentations too, I always get nervous clammy and soo scared! And it totally feels like people are judging you when you stand there doesnt it! horrible! wow, congrats on losing the 2.5 stone, I've been trying so hard to lose weight but I love chocolate too much! How did you do it? what method worked better for you? cannot WAIT to see an outfit post :) xoxo ps, your not being silly x

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  2. I'm glad I'm not alone! I've even thought about doing a masters so I don't have to grow up but i concluded revision hurts too much!
    Thankyou :) I've been trying for years to loose weight and I found that just munching on salads really didn't work for me. I really wasn't born to eat like a rabbit. This time I've cut my calorie and fat in take down by half. I still eat what i want just low fat versions or less frequently. I have a treat day once a week so i can still have pizzas etc. The rest of the week i tend to have jacket potatoes, pitta breads, chicken n pasta - stuff like that! Exercise wise - last year I was going to the gym a couple of times a week but it started to get excessive so now i walk into town instead of getting the bus and do a work out dvd once a week. I also have the occassional dance around my room!
    Hope this helps :) xxx

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